Monthly Archives: August 2013

Affirmation

“You are amazing,” I said to myself out loud last night, after a very busy day.

And then I remembered: that was what Bill used to say to me. “You are amazing.”

Usually it was after I had decorated the living room for Christmas or created a flower arrangement for church or showed him one of my poems.

I started thinking about Bill’s affirmation of me, his appreciation of my talents and skills. What if he had told me I was ugly or stupid or worthless? I know some husbands dish out verbal abuse like that. After awhile, would I have come to believe those things? But Bill thought I was amazing and wonderful and brave and strong, so I came to believe his words.

My mother used to berate and belittle herself now and then, and that bothered me. Sometimes I do something stupid, and I tell myself, “Well, that was stupid, Kristin.” But it was the action that was stupid, not me.

Bill is no longer here to be my cheering squad, but I can cheer for myself so I will say it again.

“You are amazing.”

And I am.

 

 

 

 

All God’s Creatures

Never think aloud. I made that mistake when I reflected to my granddaughter Emma that I might get backyard hens. Now she keeps asking me if I will get chickens. I like the peaceful clucking of hens and I like eggs. Of course the only experience I have had with chickens was in my childhood, when I had to slide my hand under the hens in my aunt’s coop and steal their eggs without getting my hand pecked. I have plenty of room here for a coop and a run. There are two problems. The first are the predators on my property: the foxes, the hawks, and the black snakes. I would have to purchase a very secure coop and run. The second is my energy level. I have read that a few backyard hens take no more time than a couple of cats and that you can set a timer to open the coop door in the morning and shut it at night. But I don’t know that I want to add another living creature to my life. Right now I have a sweet old dog, two old cats, a fish tank whose inhabitants regularly die, the houseplants, and the wild birds that I feed. Bill used to take care of feeding the wild birds, but now that is my job. Every day there is something to feed or water or clean up after.  So when Emma asks me, “Have you decided about chickens?” I answer, “Probably not…but I don’t know.”

And this week I have two visiting mares grazing in my pastures and they are wanting their grain for dinner so I must go feed them. Having had horses here for about eight years when my daughter was young, I do know that these beautiful creatures are a lot more work than chickens!